Vegas Vignettes Part One.

I'm in an elevator and a stranger joins me for a dive down thirteen floors.

Stranger: "Gambling?"

M.C.: "No, I don't gamble (I lie)."

S: "Why are you here?"

M: "I work for a bicycle manufacturer. I'm here for a trade show. You?"

S: "I'm here to be an idiot for a week."

The door opens and we both exit.

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Barista: "What would you like?"

M.C.: "Could I get a refill of coffee in my travel mug?"

B: "We don't take those at this location."

M: "Then can I get a medium black coffee?"

B: "That will be $4.55."

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Every hotel room in Vegas has a bible in the top drawer of the bed stand.

A frivolous offering (by the promoters of sin) to those writhing in the debauchery of Sin City?

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(While eating dinner with an Australian friend)

"I've noticed that Americans ask too many questions. What type of bread? Mustard? Catchup? It's like War and Peace when you order anything."

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There was a birthday party being thrown for a 16 year old. I thought to myself, 'I'm twice as old as this kid.' But then I forgot my age...Am I thirty-two or thirty-three?

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I joined some friends at Hooters. There was nothing on the menu that I wanted to eat (vegetarian). While having a glass of water, a UFC fight was being broad casted on three TV's in a twelve by twelve room. Mid way into the fight, an opponent got an elbow to the eye brow splitting him wide open. He bled onto the floor. He bled onto his opponent's back.

Looking down I noticed that both of my friends had ordered hamburgers. Rare, blood seeping onto their plates. The room smelled like charred meat.

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M.C.: September 21st, 2010.