Who will burn in Hell: addendum.

The signage I saw during Gasparilla was missing some key candidates. If it were my call, I'd cancel that list and instead call out these terrible people.

On the front of my sign:

"Carnival Clowns

Neighbors who play their bass too loud

Rush Limbaugh

Sea Gulls who steal food

Litterers

People who wear v-neck shirts with boat shoes

Rick Scott

Hummer drivers

Growers of ironic mustaches that wear scarves in the summer

Human Ponies

Evangelical furniture salesman

People who park sideways in parking spaces

Tea baggers

but mostly human turd burglers"

On the back of my signage:

"Hell is a bit too harsh--but some sort of punishment will do"

-M.C.

Who will burn in Hell?

On the front of a man's banner held high over his head:

"Sinners

Adulterers

Homosexuals

Sodomisers

Immodest women

Liars

Thieves

Drunkards

Lechers

Gangster Rappers

Porn Stars"

On the back of his banner:

"You will burn in Hell"

Gasparilla Parade. Tampa, Florida. 2011

So what...

"So what, vegans are healthier and live longer. Let them be the last one's living on a dead planet."

Poached from www.sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com

The Mechanic: 8am.

Overheard conversation while waiting at the mechanic's:

Mechanic: "Can I help you?"

Customer: "Do you work on Saab's?"

Mechanic: "I work on everything."

Customer: "Well, mine is special."

Mechanic: "All cars are special. They all break."

Febuary 11th, 2011.

-M.C.

Lovecraft's adverbial density.

"Although Lovecraft's work was dismissed in his lifetime, contemporary writers including Stephen King and Joyce Carol Oates have celebrated him as the heir to Edgar Allan Poe. Lovercraft's prose may have the highest adverbial density in English: 'I saw the freshly glistening and reflectively iridescent black slime which clung thickly to those headless bodies and stank obscenely.'"

Excerpt taken from Show the Monster by Daniel Zalewski.

Photo by M.C.. Providence, RI. August 2008.

You must be a communist.

While paying my way into a vintage Florida art show/flee market:

Doorman: "Do you want a red or blue stamp?"

Me: "I'll take blue."

Doorman: "I'll give you red."

Me: "Why?"

Doorman: "You look like a communist."